Correcting Course

To say that the last few months of my life has been a tumultuous adjustment is quite the understatement. It may seem silly to most folks. But since I spent twenty years of my life at home for 5/7 days of the week with little contact with the outside world also adding to that fact that my family stepped out of church almost a decade of go with no idea where to go made me quite the homebody. To be honest I wouldn't trade it for the world. Some of the greatest moments of my heart have happened in moments alone. And I'm an introvert by nature. So it was a win-win situation. But it was not the best of times either. With each victorious day came another day where I would fall into a deep depression realizing I was not a student, didn't have a job, didn't have a church family, didn't have any friends, and barely had a life out of my house to speak of. I cried many times wishing I could be a part of something. Wishing I could matter to someone else. Wishing life could get a bit more exciting and involved. But always be careful what you wish for!

I can remember that evening in November 2018 very clearly. I had been offered a job opportunity. It was a day I seriously thought would never come for someone like me. Ever! But I had humbled my heart, let God lead, and boom! But day one I cried on my drive home. It was the loneliest I had felt. And it was after God had answered my prayer! I was ready to quit the job. I felt it was interfering with this perfect life I already had. Even though that "life" had become boring and complacent. Sure, it was an introverts dream. But we were made for fellowship with other believers. And at that point in my life I was starved in this area.

Fast forward to last week. I've been on the job for three months now. No, I didn't quit! And praise God for that! Never give in to those stinky emotions. They'll lead you down the wrong path every time. It was my last day at home after having the flu. I was feeling better and preparing to return to work. Suddenly a great feeling of depression tried to consume me yet again. Those thoughts of feeling inferior and losing something I held dear had such an intense grip on my heart. I was sad, angry, wanted to cry and be frustrated for little reason besides my flesh feeling beat.

But suddenly as a new day dawned, I decided to remember my blessings. And through this moment even though my heart was torn in two, I visited memory lane through some of my favorite Amy Grant songs. It instantly took me back to some wonderful moments. And instead of grieving over lost moments, I decided to embrace those moments proactively. And in the process I started telling myself to DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD. Any time I felt the lies that I hated my job creep into my mind, I started saying DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD. When I felt the joy slipping away, I'd remind myself DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD. And with little warning a shift in my heart took place. Suddenly, I felt a happiness toward my job. No, it's not easy sometimes. With a long commute and disgruntled customers and hectic Saturdays it can try my patience. But now I'm not doing it for my own gratification. I'm doing it all for God's glory. And I wouldn't trade the joy I feel in my heart for any depression this world has to offer. I've got too many adventures and happy times to experience to let a little discouragement get me down.

NO! DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD! Say it over and over until you feel it deep down like I did. I hope it brings the same joy to you as it did to me.